Ohio State
by coriswriting
Summary: Finchel drabble:  An opportunity for Finn exposes Rachel's growing fears about the possibility of seperate futures.


"Hey," he said brightly as she opened the front door. She smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him sweetly as he lifted her off the ground. She swore as long as she lived she would never get tired of the feeling of his hands on her waist, pulling her close with his gentle strength.

He clasped her hands and squeezed them in his as he stepped back to look at her. She could see that he had something he was dying to tell her.

"You're not going to believe this, babe," he began, his voice crackling with excitement, "the Ohio State recruiter—he came to practice today and watched me play. I think they want me, Rach! Like, a real college wants _me_ to play football for them!"

"That's _amazing, _Finn!" she squealed, jumping into his arms. She held him tightly as she whispered, "I'm so proud of you, baby." She drew back, grinning at him and placing her hand on his cheek.

"Let's celebrate," she said, taking him by the hand, "I just made brownies."

She seemed so excited, yet he swore he saw a flicker of sadness in her eyes as she turned away.

"I can't believe it, babe," he marveled as they sat down at the kitchen table, "this is, like, the first time I've really been able to picture myself going to college."

"Well, it shouldn't be! You can do anything, Finn!" she said encouragingly as she placed a plate in front of him. He noticed that she didn't look up as she cut a square from the pan of brownies and placed on his plate. Was that a tear?

"You okay, Rach?" he asked, concerned.

"What? Oh, yeah—of course!" she replied, still not looking at him, "milk! Let me get you some milk to go with that!"

As she nervously jumped up and ran to the refrigerator, he saw her wipe at her eye with the back of her hand.

"Rachel," he said sternly, "I _know_ something is wrong. Will you talk to me?"

She froze in the middle of the kitchen floor, covering her face with her hands. Her shoulders began to shake as she sniffled. He walked over to her, placing his hands on her waist.

"Aww, baby, what is it?" he asked softly, reaching to stroke her hair. She tried to squirm away as a few tears slipped down her face.

"I'm—I'm trying not to ruin this for you, or make this about me, like I do with everything else," she stammered, looking down.

"Rachel, what are you talking about?" he asked, confused.

"I don't want to lose you, okay?" she cried, her face flushed with anger, "I don't want to think about you being in Ohio and me being in New York and going our separate ways as if we never mattered to each other!"

"Rachel," he breathed, taken aback. He hadn't thought of any of that yet. He had just barely found out that Ohio State was even a possibility.

"Dammit, Finn!" she sobbed, "this is why I was so afraid to kiss you in New York, why I was so scared to get back together! Because now you've gone and you've made me fall so completely in love with you that I can't imagine my life without you! I was going to get the hell out of here and never look back. But now I can't do that. _I_ _will never stop looking back. _Because I'll be wondering if I made the biggest mistake of my life by leaving my soulmate behind. Trading true love for some dream that won't keep me warm at night! I just—I'm sorry."

She sat down on the hard floor, burying her face in her hands once again as she let her tears flow without restraint. There was no point in holding back now. She sat there weeping, her whole body shaking with each sob. The sadness, the anxiety, the frustration—it was all erupting; her fears and feelings all laid bare there on the kitchen floor.

He sunk down to the floor next to her, gathering her up in his arms. For a few minutes he just held her trembling body, his hands wet with her tears. His heart ached in his chest as he held her in silence. At last he took her chin in his hands and tilted her face towards his.

"Rachel," he whispered, "I love you so much, baby. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone. Baby, we don't know what the future holds. But let's not get ahead of ourselves, okay? I don't want to think about any of this yet—I _can't_ think about it yet. I'm not ready to face any kind of future without you either. But right now, I just want to love you, and be with you, and hold you, and know that you're mine, okay?"

"Okay," she nodded, losing herself in the safety and warmth of his embrace. She rested her head upon his chest as her tears slowed. She took a deep breath and vowed to herself not to waste a single moment of their time together. She smiled, knowing that here and now, he was hers.


End file.
